The connection had some viewers feeling nostalgic — but others were left wondering why.
If you’ve ever watched your child tear through wrapping paper on a birthday morning, light up for about 20 minutes over a new toy, and then wander off to play with the box it came in, you already know something that researchers have spent decades confirming: stuff doesn’t make us happy for very long. And if you’re a parent trying to stretch every dollar while still giving your kids a childhood worth remembering, that finding might be the most reassuring thing you read all week.
Decades of research suggest that experiences tend to create deeper, longer-lasting happiness than material possessions. Psychologists have found that while things may be exciting at first, their emotional impact quickly diminishes, whereas experiences continue to enrich our lives through memory and meaning.
For families watching their budgets, this isn’t just interesting psychology — it’s a genuine relief.
The “New Toy” Effect Wears Off Fast
Think about the last big-ticket item you bought for your household. Maybe it was a gadget, maybe a piece of furniture, maybe the latest must-have toy your kid begged for. How long did that rush of excitement last?
Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University who studies the relationship between money and happiness, has a term for what happens next.
“One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation,” he shared with Fast Company. “We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.”
That adaptation is something every parent has witnessed firsthand. New possessions bring a burst of happiness that fades as they become part of everyday life. The toy car that was everything on Saturday is forgotten under the couch by Wednesday. The doll that consumed all their attention gets set aside once the novelty wears off.
But experiences? They work differently. Experiences remain vivid in our minds and often grow sweeter over time through reflection and storytelling. That weekend you drove two hours to go hiking and your youngest slipped in the creek? Your family is probably still laughing about it. That’s not a coincidence — it’s how our brains process experiences versus things.
The Happiness Starts Before You Even Leave the House
Here’s a detail that matters for families planning on a budget: the excitement of planning an event or adventure builds happiness before it even happens. And later, recalling that experience continues to trigger positive emotions. The pleasure from a purchase, on the other hand, tends to peak quickly and fade.
Amit Kumar, a co-author of a 2014 study alongside Gilovich, illustrated this perfectly when speaking with The Atlantic.
“You can think about waiting for a delicious meal at a nice restaurant or looking forward to a vacation,” Kumar told the publication, “and how different that feels from waiting for, say, your pre-ordered iPhone to arrive. Or when the two-day shipping on Amazon Prime doesn’t seem fast enough.”
For parents, this means the happiness payoff of an experience isn’t just the event itself — it’s the anticipation leading up to it and the memories that follow. When you tell your kids on a Tuesday that you’re all going to the local festival this weekend, the excitement they feel for those five days is part of the gift. When they talk about it for months afterward, that’s the gift continuing to give. No toy on a shelf delivers that kind of sustained joy.
Shared Moments Build Stronger Families
Beyond the happiness factor, there’s another reason experiences matter so much for families: they bring people closer together.
Shared experiences foster stronger social connections, which researchers link to long-term well-being. Whether it’s a trip with family or attending a concert with a friend, moments spent with others often strengthen relationships and produce memories that outlast the transient satisfaction of owning things.
For parents, this is where the research really hits home. A movie night with the whole family piled on the couch. A Saturday morning spent at the farmers market together. A camping trip where nobody got much sleep but everyone came home closer for it. These aren’t just fun — they’re the connective tissue that holds a family together, especially during the years when kids are growing fast and time feels short.
And here’s another reason to feel good about choosing experiences over things: when we look at material items, we often evaluate them against what others have, and that social comparison can diminish our satisfaction. Your kid’s new sneakers feel less special when their classmate has a fancier pair. While this feeling can sometimes happen with experiences, they generally feel more personal and subjective, so it is more difficult to engage in direct comparisons. Nobody can make your family’s road trip feel less than by describing their own.
It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect
If you’re the kind of parent who hesitates to plan an outing because you’re worried it won’t go perfectly — the weather will be bad, the kids will fight in the car, something won’t live up to expectations — the research has something comforting to say.
Even imperfect experiences can become valuable memories. Stories about mishaps, unexpected moments, or adventures that didn’t go as planned frequently turn into cherished recollections, whereas items we buy that don’t work are just disappointments or frustrations.
The rainy camping trip where you all huddled in the tent playing cards? That could become the story your kids tell their own kids someday. The birthday dinner where the restaurant lost your reservation and you ended up eating pizza in the park instead? That might become the birthday they remember most fondly.
A broken toy goes in the trash. A “failed” adventure goes in the family story vault. For parents who can’t always afford to plan the perfect outing, this is genuinely freeing. You don’t need a flawless itinerary or an expensive destination. You just need to show up together.
Practical Gift Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank
So the next time a birthday, holiday, or special occasion rolls around and you’re staring at a screen full of pricey toys and gadgets, consider an experience-based gift instead.
Whether it’s tickets to see a movie or concert you’ll both like, or a weekend camping trip together, you’ll both savor the memories for years to come.
For budget-conscious families, the possibilities extend far beyond expensive outings. A homemade coupon book for “family adventure days.” A plan to try a new park every month. Tickets to a local community event. The point isn’t how much you spend, it’s that you’re investing in moments instead of objects.
The Bottom Line for Families
The research is clear, and it aligns with what many parents already feel in their gut: the things that will matter most to your kids longterm aren’t things at all. They’re the mornings you spent together, the silly mishaps you survived, the quiet moments and loud adventures that become the stories of your family.
The memories your kids will carry with them for the rest of their lives don’t require a big price tag. They just require you.
