“The lens you see every bit of life through just changes and priorities shift.”
Michelle Obama is opening up about the importance of establishing good sibling dynamics as a parent.
The 61-year-old former First Lady sat down for a talk with her brother and co-host Craig Robinson and guests Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union during the Aug. 20 episode of her “IMO” podcast.
At one point during the conversation, Michelle Obama opened up about the differences between her two daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, whom she shares with former President Barack Obama.
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She described her older daughter Malia as a “pleaser” and “chameleon” who likes to figure out who people are and what they like before discussing any topics with them.
As for her younger daughter Sasha, Michelle Obama likened her to a cat.
“She’s like, ‘Don’t touch me, don’t pet me. I’m not pleasing you. You come to me,'” she said of Sasha.
Michelle and Barack Obama started dating in 1989, got engaged in 1991 and have been married since 1992, according to Elle.
They welcomed Malia in July 1998 followed by Sasha in July 2001, per the outlet.
During the podcast, Michelle Obama said her husband used to think Sasha was being “difficult” because she wasn’t exactly like her sister Malia.
“When Malia was a teenager, it wasn’t like she was going out any less,” she said of her oldest daughter.
The main difference, Michelle Obama said, was that Malia would take interest in things her father was doing, whereas Sasha wouldn’t.
“(Malia) would tell me, ‘I’m going out this weekend, but I’m gonna go in and give dad like 15 minutes,’” Michelle Obama said. “She’d go into the Treaty Room and be like, ‘Tell me about Syria...'”
According to the White House Historical Association, “the Treaty Room is located on the Second Floor of the White House and is used as the president's private study.”
“Barack would come out of the treaty room going, “I just had an amazing conversation with Malia,” she continued in her best Barack Obama voice.
Michelle Obama says the key is to parent each child individually
While talking about the importance of sibling dynamics, Michelle Obama said a bad dynamic usually “stems from something some parent did.”
“Sometimes parents set that up, thinking, ‘Well, you should be more like X,’” she explained. “You shouldn’t be using the other child to help parent the other one.”
Michelle Obama went on to explain how she tried to never compare her two daughters.
“I tried to avoid, for example, having conversations about grades at the table,” she said on the podcast.
“I always tried to be mindful of that, especially with two girls, of how do I love them both, parent them both, but keep my parenting neutral enough that they don’t feel like they’re competing,” she continued.
Her comments come two weeks after Michelle Obama revealed the dating advice she gave her two daughters.
"I just try to get them to stay open to people," she said in a recent “IMO” episode, released Aug. 6.
Michelle Obama’s advice was simple: date a lot and move on quickly.
"The thing that I did do was date a lot. And so when Barack showed up, I had experiences to compare him against. I knew a lot of (how) I didn't like this. I didn't like that,” she explained.
Barack and Michelle Obama first met in 1988 when she was assigned to be his advisor during an internship at a law firm in Chicago, according to Oprah.com.
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"We try to sort of educate the girls by sharing our experiences," she added. "So my whole thing is date. Date a lot, and if you run into a bad date or have a bad experience, move on quickly."
