That camping trip your family still talks about? Science says it’s worth more than any toy under the tree.
Ryan Reynolds is opening up about his approach to raising his four children with Blake Lively — and why he prefers what he calls “soft parenting.”
Speaking at The Wall Street Journal's CMO Summit in New York City on November 18, the actor reflected on how his own upbringing shaped his gentler philosophy with daughters James, 10, Inez, 9, Betty, 6, and son Olin, 2.
“Soft parenting is new, right? I didn't have that,” Reynolds said. He explained that his style doesn’t involve “a lot of yelling or punishments,” before noting, “I don't really believe that you have to be screwed up to make good stuff.”
Instead, Reynolds believes that a calmer, more compassionate home environment gives kids a stronger foundation. At the summit, he explained that feeling safe helps children make thoughtful choices rather than acting out of fear.
“If you're just in a place of safety, you make great decisions. You really work from a place that isn't fight or flight. You get to be thoughtful, and you get to think about everybody in the room.”
Reynolds added that this same mindset influences how he interacts with others, even in his work. “If I'm making a joke and it involves someone's name... it will not be in the final product unless I talk to that person and they feel good about it, because I don't punch down.” For him, it all ties back to “operating from a place of abundance and not scarcity and safety.”
Still, he joked that even in a nurturing home, parenting isn’t without chaos. “I think my kids feel safe. Are they still spawns of Satan? Yes. Am I calling myself the Satan in this moment? Yes. But they are. They are,” he said with a smile. “They are still kids.”
Reynolds has been open about working on himself to become a more grounded parent. Last fall at HubSpot’s INBOUND conference in Boston, he revealed he had taken a “workshop on conflict resolution” that “changed my entire life,” helping him unlearn the “scarcity mindset” he developed when he was younger.
Comparing his upbringing to today’s parenting culture, Reynolds said, “Parents today are so different. We're so soft. I don't yell. I grew up with like — it was nuts, it was an improvised militia.” Now, he said, “I can go look at all my resources for parenting and remind myself how to be perfectly compassionate.”
