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Would you let grandparents break your parenting rules? This mom says yes — and it’s sparking debate

Ryan Brennan | October 10, 2025

A TikTok mom is going viral for her “controversial” take on letting her parents babysit her daughter. 

Lily Chapman, a former nanny and daycare employee with more than 800,000 followers on TikTok, shared her view on giving grandparents a set of babysitting rules when watching her 14-month-old. 

While she admits to having a few basic safety rules for them to follow, her list often ends there. 

“My take is basically: If you’re watching my kid, you can do it your way,” Chapman said in a Sept. 25 TikTok video. “My baby has three sets of grandparents. They all do things very differently.”

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Just don’t give her a grape and we’re good lol

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“As long as you’re not crossing an explicit boundary that I’ve set that has to do with safety, I will not be complaining,” she added. 

She went on to recall a time when her father sent her pictures of him and her daughter staying up two hours past her baby’s bedtime. She didn’t care. 

“I’m strictly — strictly — no screen time,” she continued. “But when Ruby’s with her other grandfather and I get a picture of them watching a game… Ruby’s cheering for the Rangers — hell yeah she is.” 

Chapman initially thought her take would be “controversial,” but it appears she’s not alone in her mindset.

“What happens at grandmas is none of my business,” one TikTok user wrote in the comment section. 

READ MORE: Pediatrician reveals what really matters in a child’s early years — and it’s not what parents think

“Part of growing up was “breaking the rules” with aunties and grandma!!! It’s part of having a village!! I love this. I think it helps teach balance too,” another user wrote. 

“I think it teaches kids the important lesson that not everyone is mommy!” a third user argued. 

Most of the comments agreed that as long as the child is “safe, changed, fed and loved,” then they don’t have an issue with parenting rules being broken — especially since it means memories are being made. 

“We tell our kid that different houses have different rules. That certainly means more treats with the grandparents but also lower volumes,” another user wrote. 

Chapman does have three strict babysitting rules for grandparents

While Chapman mostly has a care-free policy with babysitters, she does ask three things of her parents. 

The first is to make sure her daughter’s food is cut into tiny, non-choking-hazard pieces — something she said she’s “borderline hysterical” about in an interview with Today.com, published Oct. 3. 

She also doesn’t like when babysitters have guests over and always makes sure grandparents follow safe sleep practices with her daughter. 

“Boundaries are good but they need to be worth it,” Chapman told Today.com. 

Would you let grandparents break your babysitting rules? This mom says yes — and it’s sparking debate
cottonbro studio / Pexels.com

“The last thing I’d want is someone holding my screaming baby and looking at a schedule and saying, ‘What do I have to do right now?!’” she added. 

A poll conducted by Today.com found that 91% of respondents agree with Chapman’s take on babysitting.

But some parents weren’t willing to relinquish their need for control. 

“I need to be more like this but PPA has not let me,” one parent wrote in the comment section of Chapman’s post. 

ALSO ON MOD MOMS CLUB: Kim Kardashian sparks back-to-school parenting debate with non-conventional take on homework

“I strive to be more like this because I am currently in my “control freak era” and it is EXHAUSTING,” another user commented. 

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