“Hi, you guys. Don't even really know what to say..."
Nearly one month after sharing her first personal statement since the passing of her 3-year-old son Trigg Kiser, Emilie Kiser has shared her first video on social media.
The video started off in the way Kiser, who was seen wearing a necklace with Trigg's name on it, often started her video prior to the tragedy, showing herself making a glass of iced coffee.
She then took a few moments to speak directly to her followers.
“Hi, you guys. Don't even really know what to say,” Kiser began. “I’m gonna be honest. It's been a minute since I've obviously come on here. Not gonna lie, I'm really nervous right now.”
READ MORE: Emilie Kiser returns to social media 3 months after son's death to share public statement
Kiser, 26, continued, saying she doesn’t “really know if there's any like, right way to start this video, but I'm gonna do my best. And just first off, want to say thank you if you're here, I have missed truly getting to just like, chat with you guys every day.”
Kiser noted how “silly” that might sound to a lot of people, but the community she has built on social media, namely TikTok, is one that she really does love, she noted.
“I hope that in coming back and sharing a little bit of what I choose to I can reconnect with you guys and hopefully help anyone who is maybe going through a similar situation,” Kiser continued.
“Yeah, I have obviously been offline for the last little bit. I am just doing my best every day to figure this out, figure my life out. So I'm just taking it day by day. I'm going to do the same thing with my content. Just take it day by day.”
She then briefly addressed the last several months since Trigg died on May 18.
“Obviously, you guys know that the last few months have been really, really hard, and I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to sit here and act like things are fine and dandy. And I don't want it to come off that way, with me coming back and making content again. This is really therapeutic for me.”
Kiser noted how much she missed “talking to you guys,” while admitting she’s not sure “what that's going to fully look like.”
READ MORE: New details emerge in the death of influencer Emilie Kiser and Brady Kiser’s 3-year-old son Trigg
“I don't know how much I'm going to be willing to share, especially about my grief journey. The last thing I want to do is, um, honestly, put myself in a position where I'm sharing too much, or I'm not ready to share stuff and I share it,” she explained. “And the last thing I want to do is get on the internet and cry and like, say every single way that I'm feeling, because I'm really just trying to process everything as best as I can day by day. But there are so many things that I do want to talk about, especially with my platform, and I want to talk to you guys about, I'm just not ready right now.”
Kiser said she’s not sure when she will be ready to talk about those things she wishes to share with the public before sharing a message to those going through the same thing she is going through.
“I just want to say that I love you, and I'm here for you, and I understand how hard it is. So yeah, just want to get some of that off my chest.”
Kiser ended the video by doing a Sunday reset, showing clips of herself cleaning her home.
Kiser brief returned to social media in August when she started a lengthy statement with her followers.
On August 28, Kiser said that “loss of this magnitude feels impossible to put into words. I've spent days, weeks, months trying to find them and also take the time I've needed to digest the loss of my baby.
“Trigg is our baby and our best friend,” she continued. “The light and spirit he brought into this world was bright, pure, joyful, and undeniable. We miss him every second of every day and continuing forward often feels unbearable.”
Trigg died on May 18, six days after he was discovered in his family’s pool in his backyard.
“I never thought we would experience grief in this way or the pain of losing him so suddenly. It's a pain, heartache, and void that no family should ever have to endure. I take full accountability as Trigg's mother, and I know I should have done more to protect him,” she continued, at the time.
“One of the hardest lessons I carry is that a permanent pool fence could have saved his life, and it's something I will never overlook again. I hope amidst this pain, Trigg's story will help prevent other children and families from suffering the same loss.”
She also addressed the boundaries she will set in moving forward with her social media platforms.
“I now have seen through this tragedy how relationships online lack boundaries, especially in protecting children's privacy. Moving forward, I will be establishing more boundaries with what I share online,” she explained.
“In the future, I hope to be in a place to share more about how I am navigating this grief, but right now, all I can say is thank you for the love, compassion, patience and space you've given us to grieve. I am more grateful for it than can ever be expressed.”
