“She’ll put on my Oscar dresses and stuff like that. We have fun down there.”
Abby Wambach is sharing her best parenting advice when raising an athlete.
On Sept. 23, the 45-year-old soccer legend took to her “Welcome to the Party” podcast, which she co-hosts with her U.S. Women's National Team teammate Julie Foudy, for an “SOS on Youth Sports.”
And some of the two former soccer stars’ takes had guest Rebecca Lowe a little stunned.
For example, Wambach and Foudy both agreed that parents should avoid going to practices.
“That is actually on my ‘don’ts’ list. Do not go to the practices and watch your children. This is their time,” Wambach said — while Foudy further emphasized that you don’t even have to go to all the games.
Wambach went on to explain that parents being at practices defeats the purpose behind the practice.
“It’s not for the kid to look over their shoulder and make sure that their mom or dad or parent is sitting on the sideline watching them. Practice is free play for them,” she said.
“That there is nothing that’s going to encumber them from trying something new, taking a risk, making a mistake, trying something, being successful,” she added.
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According to Wambach, parents going to practices externalizes the child’s motivation — when their motivation should, instead, come from within.
Lowe then argued that the only reason she goes to all the practices was because she couldn’t make it to the games, so she didn’t want to be seen as an “absent mum” in the eyes of other parents.
But even then, Foudy and Wambach agreed that parents don’t even have to be at the game.
“It’s okay for them to not see us there,” Foudy explained. “It’s for them.”
Parents overwhelmingly agree with Abby Wambach’s parenting advice
Wambach and Foudy shared a clip of their practice advice on Instagram — and parents everywhere were happy to see that they weren’t alone in their thinking.
“I’m a therapist and I approve of this message from Abby Wambach,” one user wrote in the comment section.
“No practice!! Go to the store, sit in your car facing away and read a book. Go for a walk,” another user wrote.
“I helped manage a club of about 1000 families for a while. It was really difficult to explain to parents that they should stop interfering with their kids’ development,” a third user wrote.
Some parents were urging others to simply drop their kid off at practice and enjoy the hour or so they get in return away from their children.
“100% AGREEEEE!!!!!!! Do something for yourself during this hour! Move YOUR body, do something fun, and let your kids know. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s LEGACY WORK,” another therapist wrote.
Abby Wambach and Julie Foudy shared another no-no for sports parents
Elsewhere in the episode, Wambach and Foudy agreed that parents should “stop talking” on the sidelines — with Wambach further clarifying that her “don’t yell” rule was in both her “do” and “don’t” columns.
“Positive cheering only and no instruction,” she said, adding that comments like “good job,” “way to go” and “keep going” were fine.
But other than that, they believe parents should keep their comments and opinions to themselves.
“I don’t know if you’ve ever seen any of the videos with kids talking about, ‘Hey, what’s the one thing you want to tell your parent about youth sports?” Foudy said.
“And they’re basically like, ‘Shut up. Stop talking, please,’” she said of the kids’ response.
Wambach also thinks it’s important to monitor what parents say to their children on the way to and from a practice or game.
Her advice: avoid talking about the outcome and, instead, talk about the small wins and losses that occur in-between.
“Did you see your teammate cheering? Did you pick up the cones for your coach without being asked? Did you see somebody do something special that had nothing to do with the outcome?” Wambach said.
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“It’s like figuring out how to de-emphasize the outcomes of winning and losing, and over-emphasize the acts of leadership,” she continued.
