“Then I realized all his grandparents are alive and he's never had a goldfish."
If you’ve ever tried to take a shower on a family vacation — just one peaceful shower — you already know how this story ends.
Someone is banging on the door. Someone is crying. And whatever brief moment of calm you imagined for yourself has officially left the building.
NBC’s Dylan Dreyer recently shared a family Disney trip story so chaotic, so viscerally relatable, that every parent who has ever attempted a theme park vacation with small children will feel it in their bones.
It Started Like Every Family Vacation Does
During the April 9 episode of The Parenting Chat, guest Dave Ogleton — known online as “FitDad” — was recounting a successful Disney trip with his family.
“We managed to get through our vacation and only had one major argument amongst all of us,” Ogleton said on the podcast. “And usually there’s bickering constantly.”
A vacation with only one major argument? For parents of young kids, that practically qualifies as a spa retreat.
READ MORE: Dylan Dreyer says she and ex Brian Fichera ‘work better as friends’ while co-parenting their sons
Dreyer, however, had a very different Disney story to tell.
“Since you did a win for Disney, I’ll do the fail,” she began.
And oh, was it a fail.
Hot, Tired and Just Wanting Five Minutes Alone
Dreyer, who shares three kids — Calvin, 9, Oliver, 6, and Rusty, 5 — with her estranged husband, Brian Fichera, explained that she took her three kids and her mom to Disney when things went sideways fast.
“We’re all in the hotel, like it’s been a day. We’re all hot. Everybody’s just irritated with each other. The other two want to go in the pool,” she recalled.
Every parent knows this exact moment. The sunscreen is wearing off. The magic has faded. Someone wants the pool, someone wants food and nobody wants to cooperate.
So Dreyer did what any desperate parent would do. She decided to take a shower before dinner so she could calm down. Just a few quiet minutes of hot water and zero questions being yelled through a door.
But she never quite got that moment.
“Calvin starts banging on the door. ‘Mom, you have to come out. You have to come out,’” Dreyer said. “I’m like, ‘Why?’ He’s like, ‘There’s blood.’”
Dylan Dreyer Thought It Was a Nosebleed
Dreyer initially thought someone had a bloody nose. But it turned out to be much worse than that.
“So I get out. It was like a murder scene,” she joked.
Dreyer wasn’t sure how it happened, but was told that one of her kids jumped from one bed to the other, crashed into her mother’s shoulder and knocked his two front teeth backwards.
Because of course that happened. Because hotel beds are apparently just trampolines in disguise when you’re under 10.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Nicky Hilton Reveals Her Family’s Favorite Holiday Tradition — and it Involves a Trip to Disneyland
Dreyer proceeded to contact her emergency dentist, who told her to push her child’s teeth back into their rightful position before they get settled in the wrong position.
Push the teeth back. With her hands. On vacation. After what she described as a murder scene.
With two more days left in the trip, Dreyer was unsure if they should continue the vacation or not. She did — and her son’s teeth ended up being fine.
“Somehow his teeth ended up growing back in place. I don’t understand how,” she said.
Dylan Dreyer Wasn’t Sure What to Do With the Blood
Forget the teeth. Forget the blood. The moment that will haunt every parent who has ever checked out of a hotel room with kids is this:
“I remember thinking, ‘Do I have to scrub the blood out of the carpet before I leave? Or can I just shut the door and be (done)?’” she added.
That, right there, is peak parenting energy. Not panic. Not guilt. Just the bone-deep exhaustion of a parent calculating whether housekeeping can handle it.
ALSO ON MOD MOMS CLUB: Tom Brady says his Netflix roast was a parenting fail: 'What was the point?'
So the next time your family vacation goes off the rails — and it will — just remember: even Dylan Dreyer’s Disney trip ended with blood on the hotel carpet and teeth being pushed back into place. You’re doing fine.
