“They were like 10 years old when the pandemic happened. And they spoke to me.”
Are modern parenting styles resulting in high-maintenance babies? One TikTok mom says yes.
Back in May, 27-year-old influencer Aubrey Matthesius took to TikTok to share some simple tips on how to “make baby raising easy” by avoiding certain baby products that have gone viral in the modern world.
Among the products she said to avoid were bottle warmers and wipe warmers.
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She also advised new moms to both breastfeed and bottle feed their baby from day one — a tip she admitted was “controversial” because nurses at the hospital will tell you differently.
“We just figured it out on day one. I said, ‘You’re gonna learn both man,’” she said in the clip.
“That way my husband was able to feed him, I was able to nurse him, I pumped when I didn’t nurse and it was just easy because my baby then didn’t need me,” she continued.
@aubreymatthesius Make baby raising easy!!! Every baby is different but you might as well try and see if you can do some of these things!! Pregnant moms don’t register for these things. #momtips #babyregistry #motherhoodunplugged #morherhood #momlife ##tipsformoms ♬ original sound - Aubrey Matthesius | Chill Mom
Matthesius has gained quite a following since and boasts more than 50,000 followers on her TikTok page and another 42,000 followers on her Instagram page.
Now three months later, Matthesius is opening up about the difference her “low-maintenance mom” mindset has made in both her and her child’s life.
In an interview with People, published Aug. 9, Matthesius — a Glendale, Arizona native — said she was inspired to change her mindset after speaking to some of the older moms in her life.
“After turning off the phone and calling some older women in my life, I learned that their way is better than the modern way," she told the outlet.
"So I adopted their principles and found mental, physical, and spiritual freedom for myself and the baby,” she added.
@aubreymatthesius Pt 2 of raising low maintence babies. You don’t have to raise difficult children. Motherhood can be easy if you make some simple shifts early on… ps. This is all my personal experience. I’m not a professional #motherhood #momtok #newmom #newmomtips #postpartum #sleepschedule #babytips #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #momlife ♬ original sound - Aubrey Matthesius | Chill Mom
Matthesius says her new mindset means doing away with “excessive baby products,” keeping simple tasks simple and “not allowing mom guilt to cloud our judgment as moms.”
She also prioritized sleep training — arguing that a household thrives when everyone sleeps well.
"These principles have created not only a low-maintenance mom but now a low-maintenance baby,” Matthesius told People.
“Our children are the result of the principles we live by. So it was important for me to understand the kind of mother I wanted to be,” she added.
Matthesius blames modern parenting styles for fixing what wasn’t broken
According to Instagram, Matthesius first became a mom on Dec. 7, 2023 when she welcomed her son Joel Ashley, whom she shares with her husband Ashley.
In her early days of motherhood, Matthesius says she was “slowly adopting the anxious, attachment-style parenting that most millennial and Gen Z moms live by.
According to ABC News, celebrities like Kourtney Kardashian, Mayim Balik, Alicia Silverstone and Pink have spoken highly of attachment-style parenting in the past.
Some of the other different parenting styles mothers use today include gentle parenting, free-range parenting, authoritative parenting and positive parenting, according to The Everymom.
While it might seem like Matthesius is “reinventing the wheel” compared to all the different parenting styles we see today, she argues that the opposite is happening.
“This is simply what mothers have done for years and years. The people reinventing the wheel are the modern mothers and they look miserable doing it,” she said in her interview.
She added that allowing kids to get too used to the comforts can turn those privileges into expectations.
Instead of using a bottle warmer, she served milk as-is. Instead of using a wipe warmer, she opted for cold wipes. And instead of doing everything herself, she allowed others to help.
“So many moms control every aspect of their child’s routines and don’t allow for anyone else to be a part of that,” she told People.
“What that does is it creates children that are particular to certain things and even who is doing the tasks,” she continued.
According to Matthesius, her parenting style isn’t a new concept — “it’s just new to this generation,” she told People.
And while she has learned a lot from her first round as a mother, she’ll get to do it all again soon.
On July 26, the soon-to-be mom of two took to Instagram to announce her second pregnancy as her and her husband celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary.
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“Ash being married to you has been the greatest journey of my life,” she wrote in the caption. “We’ve welcomed one sweet baby and now we get to welcome another together.”
